Farewell February
Seasonal Stressors
I write today with magnificent memories of last fall when we experienced bright warm sunshine and record breaking temperatures well into November, and flowers blooming well beyond their seasonal life expectancy. I did not even think about purchasing mums last fall as my summer flowers bloomed beautifully until Thanksgiving! This is all a distant memory today as I look out of my window and see some of the longest icicles I have ever seen extending from the roof, almost touching the base of my deck, at my house near the icy marsh in Scarborough.
During these long winter months, individuals often experience anxiety and depression. Many feel like the cold dark days will never end. Seasonal Affective Disorder is often a diagnosis that we hear used, and some share that it can be related to mood and a lack of sunshine. People spend a great deal of time indoors and do not get a lot of physical activity, unless they like outdoor winter activities. This can result in added anxiety, stress, and depression. It is also the longest period of school instruction for students without a vacation interruption. This too might result in some teachers and students feeling stress or anxiety.
This is such an important time for us to remember Self-Compassion practices. During this February, we have experienced record breaking cold temperatures and snow falls. Our days begin and end in darkness. However, the roles and responsibilities that we have committed to, the demands that are a part of our daily life, do not change. In fact, they may become greater if those that we care about: partners, children, parents, friends, struggle with seasonal stressors as well. Our first inclination, in most cases, will be to take care of those we love first.
This further drains our internal resources, and in most cases, we are not even aware of this ongoing cycle that takes place during these long winter months. Instead, when we do have that occasional quiet moment we wonder: Why do I feel so empty? The cycle functions so naturally that most of the time we are not even conscious of it. We become most aware, when it is too late. We become most aware when our rich internal reservoir is empty, and we have neglected to practice self-care. When we reach this point, we have compromised the most important responsibility we have - the responsibility to ourselves.
The daily practice of Self-Compassion offers self care practices that create a routine that can be embedded in your day and integrated into your internal dialogue. To embed Self-Kindness into your inner dialogue during challenging winter days will commit to an encouraging inner dialogue that is positive and encouraging rather than a critical/ judging. This sounds like “ I am doing a good job.” “Look at everything I have accomplished today.” in contrast to “Did you really just screw that up again?” For Mindfulness, perhaps you commit to stay in the moment of difficult situations, rather than avoiding them so that you do not become over loaded. If you find yourself in a conflict with your partner, try to see it through to the end, or schedule some time to finish the conversation later. Don’t let things fester or pile up. Greater Humanity tells us to remember that we are never alone. We are all experiencing these short, dark, cold winter days together. We are trying to find beauty in that icicle, or memories of those long warm fall days.
It is most important, before we close, that we really understand how important self-care is, especially during these challenging winter days. “No” is a complete sentence. Try not to take on more than you need to take on. It is so important to practice self-care, before we take care of those we love. Self-care offers us renewed perspective, and stimulates our brain function. Some form of self-care needs to happen every day. You have the extraordinary capacity and ability to define what self-care looks like for you. You must make it happen!
Until next time, be safe, be mindful, be kind to yourself.